Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Roller coasters

It's funny how life has it's ups and downs. I guess we truly never know where life will lead us. 

I spent many hours reading back on my Blog tonight. I am so grateful to have preserved all of these Memories. One thing that stuck out was a post where Devin (age 4 at the time) asked me if I was "married" and would I "always be married?" Without a single hesitation I answered yes. In so many places in my blog it is evident just how much I loved my husband. 

And yet I sit here tonight, reminiscing and  nostalgic, and completely alone. I have no husband to recount these
Memories with. I have no husband to talk about the future, to share the moments yet to come. He broke my heart into a million pieces and left me alone to raise OUR son. The man who was such an admirable father and husband exists no more. He has become a stranger... A villain. 

The time goes on and the days get a little bit easier. Day after day I become more independent. I have learned how to unclog a toilet and that Christmas lights aren't worth fixing. I've learned how to help my son in baseball and how to adjust the a/c vents. 

 I've learned about sacrifice and heart ache and betrayal. I've learned how to pick myself up off the ground.  I've learned how strong of a woman I am. Most importantly, I've learned about ME. 

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